For the last 18 months or so I have been experiencing increasing energy flow up through the chakras and this has intensified in last few months. Now it feels like a sea of energy flowing through my core and slightly around it that is as real as my normal physical body. It seems to keep opening into areas that felt constricted and also seems to have a life of its own in terms of how it is evolving. I have also gone through huge transformations in terms of tightness, and also clarity on my persona/false self which continues to unwind. Also feels like amazing shifts in consciousness have happened with intuition increasing and also just experiencing the world from a different place of consciousness - especially out in nature when I can spend 15min just looking at a flower or the bark on a tree - like I had been viewing the world on an etch-a-sketch and now it's Ultra HD TV or something.
This all started after years of life threatening heath issues and followed what I considered to be a pre-awakening in the mid 90’s. About 18 months ago I just kind of spontaneously started meditating with the verbal Ohm sound after reading a few paragraphs about this by Mickey Singer. Seemed like something inside took over and took me on a journey over next months, spending hours a day in mediation. [I realize now that I also probably overdid the meditation and pranayama since I have a bit of an addictive personality and was also using it to push away a lot of trauma I had experienced in the world.] I Initially went through a couple months of absolute bliss but back then this energy through chakras seemed like just a trickle compared to what it is now.
The reason I am writing is this journey has also been very intense and destabilizing and I am trying to stay surrendered to it and facilitate its work. Also working once a month or so with OpenHand facilitator (Cut out pranayam work and now doing a lot of grounding as well.) So with things seeming upside down at times, I have seen a lot on the internet about dangers of awakening kundalini and how it can result in frying the brain or hospitalization etc. Not so easy to stay surrendered to it if I’m not sure what I’m surrendering to! As I continue to go through these transformative experiences, I am wondering about the internet comments that this is a divine creative energy that is intelligent enough to purify the psyche, remove blocks, and even create life situation to do this etc.. What puzzles me is why, if this is divine intelligent energy, it would not temper itself etc to avoid causing insanity, hospitalization etc.. Seems like on the one hand the energy is all knowing and purifying etc. but on the other hand comes with warnings that it can cause insanity, which doesn’t sound so intelligent – to the maim the host? Sounds rather impersonal and blind as well. Any suggestions on this or if what I have described does in fact sound like kundalini arising. Thanks. Looking forward to Chicago..